


Perfect For You

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Feelings, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, they are both idiots, they are both still youtubers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-11-28 13:49:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11419296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Phil has a job and his own flat and he also makes YouTube videos. He has few really great friends but there's one thing missing in his life. A partner.Someone who will be there for him when he comes home from work and who will listen to his stupid stories about weird people he met and cute animals he saw.But Phil wouldn't do that. No, Phil knew that usually leads to a break up. People don't care about these things. He learned that the hard way. He is just too much of a human flop to have a partner. So he tried to change himself and be normal.And then he meets Dan Howell with his straightened hair and black outfit and the brightest smile ever. And dimples.But Dan would never want someone like Phil, right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i promised to write something about phil so here it is.  
> i am not sure how this will go because i dont really believe in myself when it comes to long stories...

Phil wasn’t one for relationships. And that was a lie. But it was better to always say this than to have to explain to your family why you can’t find anyone.

His family knew he was bi and they didn’t have a problem with it. But now he was already 30 years old and he still didn’t have any partner. Every time he went to visit his family it was the only thing they asked about. When is he finally going to find someone?

Well maybe when there will be someone who won’t have problem with his weird habits. Everyone always gave up. The longest he had a partner was four months. Sometimes they weren’t even in relationship yet and the person told him they hate something about him and so it ended before it could even start...

Phil tried to change. He tried. He knew that’s not what he should be doing because if there will be someone who will love him then they should love all of him even the weirdness but he was desperate. He wanted to finally be with someone. To be able to cuddle while watching a movie, to have breakfast in bed with them, to sneak from behind and hug them and just all of these cute couple things that would make him feel like he is loved.

He stuck notes on his cabinet doors to remember to close them. He reminded himself every time he found something funny to cover his mouth while laughing. No one wants to see the weird way he laughs. He had a note on his coffee table to never leave there his socks. And every day before he went to bed he went through his little flat to find whatever piece of clothing he left somewhere on the floor. Every time he washed up he always tried to concentrate so he wouldn’t break anything.

Another thing to remember was to never speak about weird people he met. And about all the cute animals he saw. Waking someone up just because there’s a dog outside is a bad thing, he learned. It can lead to a break up.

Never ever talk about how when they’ll move together they should get a dog. It also leads to a break up. People don’t want to feel pressured. So no speaking about future together.

Also no to speaking about anime he watched or wants to watch. Others are not interested. He is a 30 years old. He shouldn’t be watching stuff for kids. Is he a pedophile or what?

A stuffed toy as a gift is a bad idea. Again, he is 30 years old. He should be mature. He has a job so why does he acts like a little kid?

He didn’t know.

Another thing he learned was that going to see a movie with his partner means he shouldn’t be watching the movie but enjoy being with them. So he started going to dates elsewhere and to movies with his friend PJ.

Also, as he learned, never tell people about YouTube. He wasn’t famous or anything but it was fun to do and he found quite a few friends thanks to it. But he is 30 years old and why does he do it when he doesn’t make money out of it and it just takes so much of his time that he could spend doing better things and also he is such a weirdo and how can anyone watch his videos...

 

And so Phil was 30 years old, alone in his small flat, hating himself for being such a weird person that is so hard to love. And it didn’t matter what his subscribers told him. They just saw his videos. They didn’t have to live with him.

Honestly after Phil tried so hard to change himself, it felt like no one actually wanted him anymore. He was too old.

But then Dan Howell came into his life. Dan Howell was 25 years old and the most beautiful creature Phil ever saw. He was sarcastic and always wore black but he could be also nice and his smile was the greatest things Phil ever saw. If you don’t count his dimples because they were even greater.

Dan Howell was also very famous YouTuber. Phil saw him because PJ wanted to go to some YouTube gathering and Dan was there. He never before heard about that boy but after he came home he binge watched all of his videos. And loved every one of them.

But of course he didn’t dare to go to him. No, Phil was a dinosaur of YouTube, Dan started years after him, but was much more popular. With his look and loveable personality it wasn’t really a surprise. Dan was the opposite of him. He probably didn’t even know Phil. No one knew Phil. Phil was just there. He wasn’t relatable, he wasn’t handsome… he just was. And talked about his life and all the things he shouldn’t talk about to his partners because they don’t care and find it weird.

So Dan Howell happened. Even if he didn’t really happen. Phil didn’t talk to him. He just became a fan. He didn’t even tell about that to his subscribers. No one had to know. They all probably already watched Dan. Dan with his straightened hair and black outfit and dimples and chocolate eyes and… Phil was in too deep. There was no chance of him even speaking to Dan. He was no one. Dan had 6 million subscribers.

So he decided to throw himself into another relationship. That is if someone would want him.

He met a man who was a regular in a small bookshop Phil worked at. It was Phil’s dream to one day own his own bookshop. But it wasn’t like he will ever achieve that. He with his degree in postproduction… That was also his dream. To work on movies. Now he only used his skills for YouTube.

It was a week. They had two dates. And that was it. He just… wasn’t interesting, wasn’t good looking and talked about stupid things others didn’t care about.

 

“Phil, you can’t just jump into a relationship. You have to first know the person has similar interests. You have to like them and they should like you for it to work. Why do you do this to yourself?” PJ was an angel. He always came when Phil had some problem and brought ice cream. Sometimes Phil wasn’t sure why PJ also didn’t leave him.

“You don’t get it. I am 30! And alone. I just want to be able to come home to someone. I guess I am just not worth it. My boss even has a wife and he is rude and always yells. Why can’t I have someone too? I changed. I tried to be different so others will like me. But they don’t.”

“You are too desperate. You have to let it be. Someone will appear sooner or later.”

“I am repeating myself PJ but I am 30. No one wants someone so old who can’t even act his age.”

“You are over reacting. Eat the ice cream and let’s watch some movie. I want you to help me make a video tomorrow.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. At least you will start thinking about different things.”

 

A month later which was a long month when Phil didn’t really do anything aside from working and making few videos, PJ started working on a movie. A real few minutes long movie for which he always needed some YouTubers. And Phil was one of them. As always.

It was few weeks later when they finally got to actually making it and it was a big surprise when Phil saw Dan Howell there. Real life living breathing Daniel Howell. With his stupid hair and even more stupid smile and just… him.

His first reaction was to try to flee. But PJ didn’t let him. So he at least stayed close to the walls and tried to be as invisible as possible.

He had a nice chat with his friend Louise which he didn’t see in like forever and so he happily listened to all the stories about her daughter Darcy. She wasn’t there unfortunately. But he at least got all the news. He was such a bad friend.

“… and so I bought Darcy this cute dress that she really wanted. Ah! That’s Dan. Dan! Come here!” It looked like Louise and Dan actually knew each other. And Phil froze. He can’t talk to Dan now! He wasn’t prepared. He will make a fool of himself. Like always. He knew there’s no way he will ever be able to have a chance with Dan but he still didn’t want to make a bad impression.

“Hi Louise. And…”

“This is Phil. I told you about him.” Dan looked at Phil and then back and Louise. It didn’t look like he knew who Phil was. Well Phil couldn’t blame him. Louise had a lot of friends. She talked about them a lot and it was hard to remember all of them.

“Oh, Phil. Hi.” Even though he probably didn’t know who Phil was, he still smiled. Without dimples, Phil noticed. Dimples mean Dan is really happy. Of course he wouldn’t show them when he meets some old man.

“Hi.”

And that was it. Awkward.

“So… are you also a YouTuber?”

“Uh. Yeah. Just… just a small one.”

“I never saw you before.”

Of course he never saw him. Who would want to see Phil? Phil wasn’t beautiful or extraordinary. People didn’t usually notice him.

“Phil is a YouTube dinosaur. He started making videos in 2006.” It looked as if Louise was really proud to say that. Honestly there was nothing to be proud of. He was old.

“Really? That’s over ten years.”

“Yeah I know… Sorry I have to go. I promised PJ I will help him.” And with that he disappeared. It was so awkward. So awkward. He made a really bad first impression. What is Dan thinking about him? That he is old and bad with people. Exactly what Phil was but he usually tried to pretend to be more of a functional human being that can actually make friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter can just be named phils's flaws and honestly i admire dan so much because you really have to love someone to accept all the weird things they do


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am too productive these days... someone stop me

It was definitely not true that Phil was avoiding Dan the whole day. No, he wasn’t. Why would he? It wasn’t like Dan would come to him and wanted to talk, right?

So maybe Phil just always talked to PJ or was doing something when Dan walked around. He spent his whole day helping PJ to put together the scene where it will whole take place. And by helping I mean giving people extra hand when they needed and handing them things. Because Phil wasn’t really one to paint or to do technical stuff.

He saw Dan talking to people around and also typing on his laptop because, as he learned, it didn’t take Dan too long to figure out the wi-fi password. Phil had to admire how clever Dan was. And also how addicted he was to the internet.

 

It took them about two and half days with the amount of people they had, to put together the entire scene. While doing that they also tried on the costumes and so next day they were ready to play. Phil actually got his script and he had just a few lines. Enough to actually be there and as less as possible so no one will know how bad his acting really is.

Dan on the other hand was one of the main characters. With Chris of course. So while it took Phil only few minutes to remember his two lines, Dan was pacing around trying to remember all of his lines. He looked really stressed, pacing a bit more quickly than before. No one dared to even come close to him. And honestly Phil was sure if someone was brave enough, Dan’s glare would definitely kill them.

So he just stayed close to the wall talking to few other YouTubers he actually knew and hoped he isn’t going to make an idiot of himself in front of Dan again. And because he hoped so much of course exactly that happened.

He was just sitting on the floor, going through the ideas for his next video and also thinking if he will actually have time to make the video, considering he took his few days off from work just to work on PJ’s project. He was glad PJ was thinking about him when he announced the filming will be from Thursday to Wednesday. Phil was supposed to be there only until tomorrow, which was Sunday, and then on Monday go to work and come back after if PJ will need something. But Phil was planning to still come as this was something really exciting and he knew PJ will want him there for support.

And at the time when he was thinking about all of this, Dan Howell came and sat right next to him. Now to say Phil was surprised would be an understatement. He was horrified and scared and felt as if he forgot how to talk.

“Hey, I am Dan, remember me?” Of course he remembered. How could he forget about making a fool of himself in from of someone so good looking?

“Y-yeah. Do… do you need something?” He stuttered! Now! When he had a chance to change Dan’s first impression of him!

“Not really. I… You just look so out of place here.” Phil was a nice person. He tried to never listen to people on the internet telling him mean things. But honestly he though Dan was different. Dan was nice to people! And here he was saying something like this. And they only spoke once before!

“You are right… Don’t worry I will be there only one more day,” he smiled. He always smiled. And then he remember his stupid tongue and cursed himself. A great way to leave a really bad impression. But it kind of didn’t matter now. Dan already thought he looks out of place. All the YouTubers were much younger than him. Or looked better. And he was there with his dyed hair that lost its volume ages ago, beaked nose and too prominent Adam’s apple. Of course he didn’t fit in. He felt a bit like a dad. Maybe he was really too old for this. For YouTube. Maybe all his exes were right. Maybe the haters on the internet were right. He wasn’t one of these people. He should just go back to work and forget everything. Just be another boring adult…

“What? I didn’t mean it like that!” Dan seemed a bit flustered, “I meant that you just sit in a corner and don’t really talk to anyone. You said you are a small YouTuber but that means you should go and try to talk to others, not sit here and mop around.”

That wasn’t what Phil thought he was going to say. It made him feel a bit better. In the end Dan was probably really just nice. Trying to talk to a no one like him… of course he was nice. Too nice.

“I am too old for that… I don’t really have anything to talk about with them.”

“You are what? Like 26 at most. You should just go there and make more friends.”

“I am thirty actually. I do YouTube just as a hobby and have a real job. You all are just free and have no worries. I don’t fit in here.”

“You don’t look thirty. So… what is you channel about?”

He was just trying to be nice. But the longer they talked the worse Phil felt. Why was Dan trying so hard to talk to him? He actually asked Phil if he doesn’t want to make a collab! Dan Howell was too nice. But Phil didn’t need Dan to feel pity for him. He was happy with his life. He didn’t need some shout out from a big YouTuber. And not from Dan Howell. Definitely not from Dan Howell.

But Dan Howell didn’t leave. He tried to hold conversation until Phil gave in and talked to him. And for whatever reason Phil actually felt good. Because maybe Dan seemed like a cool guy from the outside and he presented himself as a sarcastic and clever and also as a bit of a human flop in his videos, but he was really nerdy. And Phil didn’t even know how they got from talking about YouTube to talking about anime but it felt nice. It felt like talking to a friend. But he never felt like this with PJ. Or anyone else for that matter. He felt like Dan was actually listening to him and wanted to hear all of his opinions and then tell him his so they could talk about it. They talked about their favourite music and games and food and it didn’t feel like that but they must have been talking for hours. And Phil would never believe there actually existed a human who was so similar to him but still so different. But here he was. Right next to him talking about his favourite studio Ghibli movie and why not eating cheese was Phil’s biggest flaw.

It was weird. He didn’t know what to think. Dan Howell, with his perfect look and perfect personality also liked similar things and talked to him as if Phil wasn’t just some stupid old adult with boring look and weird quirks that no one liked about him. No, Dan Howell listened to him and wanted to hear more of his strange encounters with people and more about how YouTube was in the beginning and also about Phil’s channel. He never felt like this. Never felt this… wanted by another human being. Not in this way. It was weird. But Phil liked it. Maybe he liked it too much as he knew he will probably never talk to Dan again.

He was sure for Dan this was just a way to kill time. He talked with so many people that day. So why would be Phil any different than them? Dan had nice personality and was able to talk to anyone. This was a normal thing for him. To make people who feel left out wanted. Why else would he come? It wasn’t like he was interested in Phil, right? Who would be? For sure not someone as perfect as Dan.

 

And after such a great day that Phil had it took him by a surprise when he opened Twitter the next day and the app crashed from the amount of notifications he got. He was surprised and a bit scared.

He knew the filming will result in a lot of responses but this still seemed like too many. So when he finally opened the app again and it didn’t crash for at least third time, he finally saw what happened. Someone took a picture of him and Dan talking. They were sitting in a corner maybe a bit too close and Dan was just in middle of laughing with his head leaning towards Phil while Phil was just smiling with his stupid tongue out. They looked like they had a great fun and knew each other more than just few hours at that time.

And then a lot of notifications were just people who started following him. Of course someone found him and told everyone. And even if that was exactly what he tried to avoid, suddenly he had at least three times as many followers as before. And he was scared to look at the number of his YouTube subscribers. He didn’t want people to watch him and follow him just because he talked with Dan Howell once. He wanted people to actually enjoy his content and things he did. But it was too late.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a really busy day. They finally started filming and PJ was running around telling people what to do. He looked really happy and content. Yeah, this was what PJ liked. To be in control of creating things.

Phil wasn’t like that. He liked creating. But it was enough for him to just do something small. He started sharing his videos just because that way he felt the need to do them. Before he started it was so hard to get himself to do anything. He was in uni and he was bored. And then there was YouTube and he decided to put his videos there and suddenly knowing people can see it, he felt like he should do more and try harder because now it wasn’t just for him. It felt so good to know people like what he does. To know people care.

And now all of it was ruined. Now Dan’s subscribers came and stomped over all of his hard work. They didn’t care about his content. That much he knew. He opened his email earlier and the amount of comments his videos got was frightening. And he only read the first few but he was sure most of them were like that. Asking about Dan. His Twitter was like that too. He was scared. He never wanted too much attention. He liked it the way it was. His subscribers were his friends, he remembered so many of them by names because they commented under his every video. And now it was all ruined.

Maybe he was hyperbolizing it a bit. He knew there was probably a lot of people who will maybe like his content and without this whole thing they would never found him… But this was scary. He just wanted to create. Not be part of… this.

“Hey, you look really stressed.” Dan. Of course Dan had to come when Phil was halfway through a break down.

“Did you see the photo?”

“The one from yesterday? Yes, why? I think we both look good.”

“Your subscribers are scary. My phone still didn’t stop vibrating from all the notifications…”

“You will get used to it.”

“Probably…” Of course he will never tell Dan how he feels about it. It wasn’t like Dan would care, right? He probably thinks he is helping Phil to be more popular.

“I am sorry I left you yesterday. But otherwise I would be home too late. I still don’t remember all my lines and PJ is going to kill me if I get it wrong. He already asked me three times if I am sure I remember even the hard lines.”

“Want me to help you?”

And that’s what they were doing. Learning Dan’s lines. It was actually fun, Phil had to admit. They also had only about an hour until Phil’s scene will come. And then Phil will be free while Dan’s part will start.

And then they won’t have time to talk to each other anymore. Probably. But that means no other photo can be made and that means no one will ask him about Dan. And after this whole thing is over they will never speak again and Phil will again be just Phil. With his weird nerdy videos and people who follow him for him not for who he talks to.

“PJ really loves this. He is basically glowing.”

“Yeah. He always wanted to be a director. He even has a degree. Every time he makes something it’s better than the last time.”

“He is really talented. I mean… to make this. To be able to come up with something like this.”

“I know. He is great. I am sure he is glad you are here. I mean… people say you are really good at acting.”

“I wanted to be an actor. But then I went to study law… And then I dropped out. And now I just… exist.”

“I am sure you are great! PJ always wants the best for his movies.”

“You are really nice, do you even realize that?” Phil wasn’t nice. He was just… maybe he was nice. But only because Dan was also nice. Dan who talked to him even if there was more than ten other people who were for sure a better company. Dan who wasn’t angry that someone took a photo of them and now everyone was talking about them as if they were Something. With capital S. Even if they weren’t even friends. Or were they? Phil didn’t want to ask. He was sure after today he won’t really see Dan again and so it didn’t matter.

“I… am not. I mean… maybe. I don’t really talk to people…I…” Now he looked like an idiot. Again. So maybe he is nice but now Dan also thinks he is stupid. Great.

“I like talking to you. It’s like I know you for a long time.”

“Thank you. I guess. I… like talking to you too.”

Dan just smiled. And while Phil had another argument in his head over how nice Dan is and how they won’t ever see each other again, Dan was internally screaming.

He was sure he fucked it up when he said that. He knew Phil is really shy and instead of going slowly he almost told him how fucking adorable he looks. He almost scared him away. He was such an idiot.

But Phil didn’t run away. No, he was still sitting in front of him with his tongue sticking out a bit and he was reading Dan’s lines just so he can help him and he was just… so fucking adorable and Dan really wanted to be his friend and boyfriend and listen to all his weird stories and he was in so deep and Phil didn’t even look like he knew. Or he was really good at pretending because Dan was sure everyone knew. He was so obvious. He could just have it written on his forehead for it to be more noticeable.

But Phil didn’t know. He was looking into the script and trying to don’t blush or start screaming. Dan was so nice. So freaking nice. And he was talking to Phil. Phil who was no one. Phil who was just there, good for nothing with his small YouTube channel and few subscribers and who was terrified thinking about being popular. They were so different. Dan was so… so perfect. So confident. Always knew what to say.

Or so Phil thought. Because that’s how it always is. People don’t know how others really feel.

Dan was anxious. So fucking anxious right now. Being around a lot of people made him uncomfortable and talking to a lot of people made him tired. But then there was Phil with his stupid smile that calmed him down and who talked about the most stupid things and made Dan laugh how Dan didn’t laugh for ages. He had the photo from this morning saved in his phone. He looked so happy. Even his followers noticed. And they all started asking who the person that made him so happy is. And of course when people of the internet want to know something, it’s easy for them to find it.

He already decided that Phil was stupid. He had a stupidly adorable smile and stupidly blue eyes and also stupidly long fingers and stupidly great hair styled exactly the way Dan always wanted his hair to be. And he was as stupidly tall as Dan and was really nice which was stupid. And so Dan decided everything about Phil was stupid. And Dan was stupid enough to love all of these things. He was even more stupid to love all of this when they didn’t know each other for that long.

He was scared it will end the same way it always did. He always fell in love too quickly. Sometimes even didn’t notice it. But usually there wasn’t that much things to love about others. They always had really deep eyes and great body and long fingers and long something else and were nice or sometimes not that nice and Dan just wanted to feel loved. To feel like he was actually loved and mattered to someone. To cuddle with someone and watch horrible movies and laugh and just… enjoy being together.

And now he was there again. Falling for someone after only few hours of knowing them, already noticing the weirdest things about them and still thinking they are great. He was so fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am evil and i like writing about others feelings. whats new


	4. Chapter 4

Phil’s scene came up and he left Dan to his thoughts and to his destiny as Dan still didn’t really remember all his lines and he was sure PJ was going to kill him. But then he really wanted to watch Phil act but his part was right after and he really needed to know what to say.

So he sat alone in a corner staring into the script and feeling a bit hopeless. It was more fun to learn with Phil. Of course that was what he thought about now. His head was full of Phil. Just Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil. Why was it always like that? Why can’t he just fall for someone who would want to be with him? Phil was probably as straight as a die. And that would mean Dan will get friendzoned sooner than he even tells Phil how he feels. If he ever tells him that. It would be probably better to just be friends. Dan shouldn’t hope. It usually ends with disappointment.

 

Soon Phil was finally free. And he only had to do his part about three times. PJ looked really happy with how it turned out. So now Phil could go home and play some game or just prepare for tomorrow when he will have to go to work again. But no, he decided instead to watch Dan. And oh was it something to look at. Dan was really enjoying being in the spotlight, really feeling for his character. Phil was no one compared to Dan.

He decided to go home earlier. Even if he wanted to watch Dan play. But no, had to go to work tomorrow as a responsible adult. And it wasn’t like he can’t watch Dan some other day. After today there were two more days of filming and then the last day they will probably just try to clean up the place. Or maybe PJ will want to do some last scenes because it’s PJ and PJ wants his projects to be perfect. And even more when it’s a short movie that he wanted to make for quite some time.

So Phil went home and there, in his safe place, where he could do anything he wanted, aside from leaving cupboards open and leaving socks everywhere and few other things he knew he shouldn’t do to look like a good partner and someone people want to live with, there he could just lie on his bed and think. He didn’t want to think about Dan but of course it ended like that.

He thought about him and about how Dan is too perfect to want to be Phil’s friend. Even if it looks like that. He thought about all his new subscribers and followers and he felt a bit sick. Again. He just wasn’t used to it. Didn’t want that much attention. No one ever stopped him outside and wanted a photo. He didn’t go to YouTube meet ups. Usually. If you don’t count the last one, where he saw Dan. But that was PJ’s fault and Phil never wanted to be there in a first place.

He didn’t know what to do. How to act. Dan’s subscribers thought they were together or something. As if Dan would have a boyfriend like Phil. Phil was too normal. Too ordinary. Plain. And Dan didn’t really say anything about it. He probably thought so too. And because it was so absurd there was no need to start denying it. Dan’s subscribers will get it soon.

Phil took his laptop to at least look through his emails. So many of them were comments on his videos. He has to go through them. Maybe there are some nice ones…

There were. But so many of them were just people asking about Dan and if they will do a collab. Then some of them were really nice. Telling him how great he is and how happy his videos make them. This made Phil really happy. New people who like his videos. Someone who is actually interesting in him, not in what Phil’s relationship with Dan.

And then there were the bad ones. The ones telling him to kill himself and how bad his videos are and to leave Dan alone. Saying he is old and acts like a child. That he should quit YouTube and that they don’t understand why Dan talks to someone like him. Well he didn’t either. But it hurt. This is what he got for talking to Dan. Few nice people finding his channel, a lot of people who care only about why did he talk to Dan, and then people who hate him just because he talked to Dan and now wants him to die…

That was exactly what he should have expected. And he did, kind of. Well he thought he wouldn’t get any hate comments but Dan was popular. And single. So of course people started hating on him the minute they thought Dan and Phil were together. With fame comes a lot of bad things. Like crazy people…

He tried to respond to few nice people and deleted some hate comments but then he gave up. He went on Twitter instead and the amount of notifications scared him. Again.

He also got a message from one of his long time follower who was his really good friend.

“u ok? I saw the shitstorm and the comments. dont listen to them. dont even read it. they are just jealous idiots”

Well at least someone thought about him. He responded telling him that it’s okay and he understands that’s how people are so he doesn’t care.

Even if he did care and it really hurts to know people hated him just because he got between them and Dan. It’s not like Dan is theirs and he can’t have friends.

 

Next day while working, he really had to try not to think about Dan. And how his online life went all wrong and now people hate him just because he talked to Dan few times. This was really fucked up. And for Phil to say such a strong word, it was really something.

He caught himself spacing out quite a few times while working. And that wasn’t something he could do. He was at work, there to make money and to help customers. But no, here he was thinking about Dan and people on the internet. He really shouldn’t do that. It was just a hobby to make videos on the internet. But now it was all he was able to think about.

 

After work he could finally go to see how is the filming going.

“Hey Phil! Finally!” PJ was really happy to see him. Phil wondered why because it wasn’t like he was to any use right now.

“Hi PJ. What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I am just really tired. But the filming is great. They are all so good.”

“Oh. So… happy?”

“Man, you have no idea. I love this.” Of course he loved it. It was PJ and he dreamt about it for years.

“I know. So, what now?”

“Now we are having a break. But after, it will be the Chris’ part. And then we are done for the day.”

“Ok. Do you need me for something?”

“Not really. How are you doing? I saw what went down on your Twitter.”

“It’s okay… It will die soon.”

“You think so?”

“Well after this I don’t really expect Dan to talk to me.” And honestly who expected that? Dan and Phil were so different and it wasn’t like Dan liked talking to Phil, right? He was just being nice.

“I thought you two look really good together. And you had a lot of fun…”

“Look at him,” Phil and PJ both looked at Dan who was now talking to Chris about something probably related to the filming, “He can have much better friends. He is just being nice.”

“Phil, stop telling yourself you are not good enough! You are. And it’s obvious that Dan thinks so too.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Phil…” PJ sighed, “I have to go back to filming. But please, stop being like that. Go talk to him.”

And so of course Phil didn’t go. No, instead he went to sit near the wall so he could watch Chris act.

But as always, Dan came to him.

“Look who showed up.”

“Oh… hi.” To be honest, Phil was really surprised to see Dan. He didn’t expect Dan to want to talk to him. He mostly thought about all the new followers and haters and forgot about the real Dan.

“You look tired.” Of course he looked tired. He was working all day.

“Been to work.”

“Now I feel really lazy. I just walked around and done nothing.”

Phil didn’t know how to respond to this. He had to work to have money. For Dan it was enough to make a video every few weeks.

“Well you are the main actor… You have to be here… To act and all that. I was here just to help… And uhmm… Yeah. Now I am here to look.”

“And you like what you see?”

Oh god, what the fuck did he say this time? He was so stupid! Last time he told himself to take it slow and rather not tell Phil he likes him. And now he just flirts with him! He wouldn’t be surprised if Phil just left and never talked to him again...  He wanted to bang his head against the wall. He was so stupid.

Phil, on the other hand, didn’t know what to say. He didn’t understand. Was Dan flirting with him or was it just accident and Phil was looking into it too much?

“I… yeah,” he smiled and Dan just melted. He was in so deep.

So he smiled too. “That’s good. Me too.” And then he winked. Oh god. He fucking winked! Why was he like that? Why can’t he just take it slow and be nice and not flirt every chance he gets? Few more screw ups and he won’t even have any more chances. And honestly Dan wouldn’t be surprised.

And Phil, not knowing what to say now, just started talking about something else. He watched Dan’s video about winking. And so maybe he did blush but still… Dan probably didn’t intend to do it. So he asked Dan if he is excited about Fall Out Boy’s new album. And what is his favourite song and so on.

And it was all great as always. Until Dan looked at his phone only to find out how late it is. And that now he has no way of getting home.

And Phil made a really stupid decision.

“You can stay at mine if you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor phil and also they are both idiots and soon something will happen. or will it?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just consensual banter. because i love pretending that something will happen but it wont because they are both stupid. enjoy

Did Phil really just invite him home? Does he want to fuck or is he just a really nice person who helps other people? Dan was sure it’s the second one. Well and he also kind of wanted to be with Phil, not to be just one-time thing and then they will forget about each other and never talk again.

And it was exactly what he thought. They came in and first thing Phil did, was ask if Dan is hungry. No sudden wall grinning and getting each other off. No, just a nice person being too fucking nice. Dan really thought about if Phil acts like this with everyone. How many YouTubers have slept here before?

And here meant on the sofa, as he soon found out. Phil actually offered his bed but Dan wasn’t stupid to take that offer. He wouldn’t let Phil sleep on the sofa when Phil was supposed to go to work tomorrow. He regretted a bit that they aren’t kids and can’t sleep together. But this wasn’t some fanfiction where you bicker until you both decide to sleep in the same bed. No, they were two adults and they didn’t even know each other for that long. So Dan received a pillow and some covers and was prepared to make this sleepover worth it by at least getting enough sleep.

Which he didn’t. Because before they went to sleep, they decided to watch something. A movie soon turned into playing games and suddenly it was 2 am.

“I should go to sleep,” said Phil for at least third time that night.

“Yeah. You should.” Dan agreed but he didn’t make any move to pause the game.

“I am just really happy to play with you. I never had anyone to play games with… Well sometimes PJ but he likes to play on his own.”

“Yeah, me too. Go left now.”

“There’s nothing.” Phil’s robot was staring into a wall. Suddenly a portal appeared in front of him.

“Now go.”

Dan was actually pretty good at this game. He played Portal 2 at least three times and knew all the Easter eggs and watched hundreds of videos about it. And he also watched some let’s plays of the multiplayer gameplay as he never had anyone to play it with. But now here they were.

“You have to move that box down and point it toward the laser.”

“I will kill myself. Don’t you want to do it?”

“No, that would mean to do this whole again. Just do it.”

Next moment Phil was dead and Dan facepalmed.

“You really are bad at videogames.”

“I told you.” This was actually the first thing Phil said when Dan asked if they can play some game. That he is really terrible at playing anything.

“Yeah. But it’s okay. I am having fun.”

“Me too. But I really should go to sleep. If you want to, we can continue some other time.”

“Really? You are going to invite me again?”

“Uhm…. Yeah. You are nice. This was nice. But we should really go to sleep. You too. PJ would want you to be well-rested.”

“Okay. Will you wake me up tomo- today?”

“Fain. Good night.”

“Good night.”

And then Phil turned off the light and Dan was alone. In a stranger’s house, lying on a sofa and certainly not feeling sleepy.

 

“Wake up, sleepy head. We have to leave soon. Let’ have breakfast.”

Honestly, Dan could get used to this. Being woken up by someone standing above him and smiling, telling him to eat breakfast that was already made and so Dan only had to get up and go eat. That was really a dream come true situation.

Okay so Phil didn’t actually made breakfast as Dan thought. It turned out Phil was used to eating cereals for breakfast. And Dan was too but he expected… Well whatever.

“Will you come to the filming today too?” asked Dan. He really wanted to see Phil again.

“Probably. It’s not like I have anything better to do.”

“That’s great.”

“Really? Why? I mean I am not really helping with anything…”

“I like talking to you, you spoon. Usually I just sit in a corner and read my lines over and over. But I like when you are there.”

“Okay. I will come.”

Dan smiled and his dimples showed up. And it made Phil really happy.

“Why do you have a post-it note on a cupboard door?” Dan noticed.

Phil turned a bit red at that and looked at the note telling him to always shut the doors.

“Oh… uhm… I… I… I am really bad at closing them. So I just… wrote it so I won’t forget that often.”

“But you live alone. It’s not like it matters.”

“Maybe…”

Dan looked at Phil but then let it go. Phil was obviously uncomfortable talking about it.

 

They said their good-byes on the street and Phil went to work while Dan went to Starbuck and then headed to the filming. He didn’t really expect anyone to be there at this hour. But maybe PJ will. Dan wasn’t sure if PJ actually didn’t sleep there. He wouldn’t be surprised.

The day was long and Dan actually spaced out few times and got shouted at by Chris and then had a talk with PJ about the same thing. Because PJ didn’t shout at people for their mistakes. But if it would continue they will have to film longer as some scenes needed to be retaken.

Dan felt a bit guilty. His videos were always about him and he made them, so there was no pressure to make it in time and for it to be perfect. It was only his inner perfectionist making him retake some parts or sometimes even the whole video. But no entire crew of people wanting everything to be perfect. He should really start paying attention and forget about Phil. Phil will come when he can. And just because of that Dan shouldn’t make everyone’s day miserable and all the footage unusable.

Phil had enough today. They usually didn’t have busy days but today a new book came out and it was as if everyone needed it. Phil personally never heard of it until twenty people asked for it and he had to go ask the boss. He wasn’t the one unpacking the books and so he didn’t know. And then he spent twenty minutes looking for it because the boy who unpacked the books put it in a wrong place. It was really a great day and he just wanted to go home and sleep.

He remembered that he promised Dan to come to the filming. But he was so tired. He wouldn’t be really to anything there.

He lay down on the sofa to watch some TV show but soon fell asleep.

 

It was his phone that woke him up four hours later. It was already something past 7 pm. And he didn’t feel any better. Maybe worse as his back hurt from the sofa.

“Yeah,” he answered in a husky voice. He was still sleepy.

“Where are you? Shouldn’t you be there ages ago?” PJ. Of course it was PJ.

“Sorry. I fell asleep. Hard day. Do you need something?”

“No. Not really. But Dan looks really sad. He messed few scenes today and this way I don’t know if it will be done in time.”

“Oh… And why are you telling me that? I mean… I don’t have anything to do with it.”

“You took him home yesterday. What did you do that he spaces out so much?”

“Nothing! I swear! We just played some games and had fun. He had no way to get home that late so I let him crash at mine.”

“Okay. Whatever. I know that he thinks too much. Still. Will you come?”

Phil looked at the time. It was soon to be half past seven. Most people will be already home.

“Yeah, I will.”

“Great! I’ll tell Dan.”

“What? Why?”

But PJ didn’t hear him anymore.

Phil thought about it. Why did PJ think he and Dan did something? Dan probably wasn’t even attracted to him. Dan was everything Phil wasn’t. Why would someone like Dan want him?

And also why would his absence make Dan act badly? They just talked. They weren’t even really friends yet. Dan was just there to sleep over so he wouldn’t have to wait few hours on the station to get home. Why did PJ think they did the do? Really, Dan was probably straight. And if he wasn’t then he could have much better boyfriend than Phil.

But truth be told Phil really enjoyed yesterday evening. It was fun. Dan was great. They talked and played and he felt really close to Dan.

He should invite him over today too. They can play Portal again and banter and then sleep in different rooms and just be great friends. Maybe even be real friends. Even if Dan was really popular and Phil was no one. He actually almost forgot about it yesterday. And even now.

Dan was someone. He had 6 million subscribers. And Phil… oh yeah Phil didn’t check his emails today. But he really didn’t want to see more haters. And he also still didn’t check his channel to see the number of his subscribers. He was too scared of it. But even if the number was now way bigger than before, he was still no one. No one who people started watching because of Dan. That wasn’t really something he wanted to be known for…

But he really wanted to be Dan’s friend. What should he do?


End file.
